Is self-doubt stopping you from doing the things you love most? Are you standing in your own way guarding yourself from getting hurt, failing, being criticized? Do you secretly wish you could do those things and not worry about hurt, failure and criticism?
When I look back at my life, I think I was definitely in my own way for many years – filled with self-doubt. I did become aware of this at one point but the awareness on its own didn’t help me pull out of the mental processes that had me stuck in a certain behaviour – not doing what I really wanted to do -to be myself.
I knew I had work to do and did lots of self-enquiry through The Work of Byron Katie, I read most of the Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers…All these helped and I slowly learnt to accept my passion and became less afraid to show it to the world. I’d like to say here though, that if you are on a similar journey, patience & self-care are key ingredients to succeeding. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Changing thought processes, behavioural patterns don’t just happen because we had an understanding or read a book. Those are seeds. Seeds that need to be nurtured and looked after. Sometimes feeling the fear and NOT doing it, is the best thing we can do. Fear, after all, is only a protective mechanism and not the enemy. If someone feels afraid of doing a headstand, it could well be that their body KNOWS that it’s not ready. When the body has enough strength, it gives the mind confidence to attempt. When we are stronger emotionally, we can entertain the idea of opening ourselves to failure, hurt and criticism. Otherwise, we may just collapse under their weight.
Whenever and for whatever reason it was that the self-doubt was created, it doesn’t matter. What matters is recognizing it. No need to blame parents, teachers, siblings and/or life’s circumstances. It is what it is, the reality of our experience! The best way I have learnt to deal with reality is accept it, see it for what it is and take the necessary steps that will take me closer to my goals. (That in itself took a while, I used to spend so much energy around what caused a reality, asked so many ‘why’ questions that I had no energy left in me to take steps to change its course)
Taking baby steps towards what we love to do, is all that it takes. Teeny weeny steps that we can all take. They’re so small that they don’t create a massive fear wave. Slowly, slowly, in time, we look around and see that what scared us the most one day, is no longer there. We have slowly plucked the weeds that blocked our growth towards our desired direction.
I really don’t want to portray even self-doubt as the enemy. There aren’t any in our inner world really. Just different forces and energies that pull us one way or the other. We can integrate them all so fully that we stand, balanced, between these opposites forces that can work perfectly in harmony with each other. Everything in our inner world has a genuine purpose that contributes towards our growth. Self-doubt may be just what we need to gauge our readiness to take actions. It asks: Are you sure you’re up for it? Do you really think you can do it? Are you sure? When it hears that you’re willing to find out, despite the fact that you may not know the outcome and hears your genuine willingness to do it, it does create more space for you to take those teeny weeny steps.
Now, are you ready to take yours? 😉
Check out my video which might give you an oomf to start your new project!
Also, you can watch Jim Carrey, if you’re a fan…the message is clear: