There is a vitamin, called Vitamin R, that when you take it, it boosts all your relationships! Would you buy it?
Here is the good news! You don’t need to:
– It’s totally free
– It works an absolute magic!
and…
– its only side effect is that you may get a shock at how much more connected you feel and an increase in your sense of belonging.
Let me explain:
Vitamin R promotes 3 of your functions, your ability to:
- Receive
- Respect
- and be Responsible
Every single one of these functions plays a crucial role in all your relationships. i.e. any encounter that demands you to relate.
Let’s explore the first function that Vitamin R improves: To receive
To demonstrate let’s look at a little scenario with Linda and Mark (a couple who’ve lived together for a few years). Linda is soon to find out that she needs a bit of Vitamin R.
It’s a Monday, she’s gone to work and Paul (her manager is full of praise about her work and tells her she she may be eligible for a promotion. She’s over the moon, and can’t wait to share her news with Mark. When she arrives home that evening she rushes straight to mark and fully enthused and excited says: Honey…(speaking at the speed of 100 miles per hour as if she’s just drunk 10 coffees on the way home)… you’re not going to believe this….Paul…do you remember Paul – my manager…well he loves my work…he loved how I handled the last project and and…I may even be lined up for a promotion…Then she notices Mark for the first time… and sees his total lack of enthusiasm. At this point, given her happiness and excitement hasn’t been mirrored, she get annoyed! She storms out of the room: ‘you never care about my success anyway’.
Had she taken Vitamin R and able to receive Mark, the scenario would have gone differently. Impatient to share the news, she would have gone home, Received Mark by sensing his mood/speed/mindset. She would have asked him how he was and might have even found out that he’s just put the phone down after hearing some bad news about a friend. . She may have then been able to cheer him up with her promotion news.
The second benefit of Vitamin R is that it improves our ability: To respect
Bob is a hard working man, he loves his family and would do anything to provide for them and he wouldn’t ever want to hurt a fly. Now you may wonder why he’s included in my candidates for taking some Vitamin R.
As a hotel manager, he has to deal with many awkward and unreasonable request from clients. He handles that really well with utmost respect and politeness. But, when he gets home he gets very short with his family and loses his temper at smallest inconvenience. Bob, like many of us, has learnt to respect those distant few but fails to do the same for those who love him enough to tolerate his lack of respect. If Bob were to take Vitamin R, he would learn that Respect isn’t a show to put on for those further from our inner circle. It’s something that starts with him, towards him first and, ripples out. So the first people to benefit from his sense of respect would indeed be the closest to him and then the ripples will continue out.
And now for the last function that Vitamin R improves: To be responsible
We have Suzy whose sense of Responsibility has gone out of balance:
Suzy is always ready to offer a helping hand, she is available for the whole world and is everyone’s ‘go to friend’ and she loves it. But…every now and again, she falls into deep deep resentment. She says things like:
Why are they always asking me for favour? Can’t they see how busy I am? They don’t really care for me, all they care about is themselves. ….I do this for her, this for him but do they ever ask me what I need? NO! She carries on helping but is tired and unable to balance her sense of responsibility towards others and herself. Don’t you think a bit of Vitamin R would do her a world of good?
You might have related to some of these characters, or you may be pleased that you really aren’t deficient in Vitamin R.
But if you ever notice that your relationships are spiraling down a slope:
ask yourself:
Are you Receiving them before relating
Are you giving them and yourself equal Respect. Or are you taking it as norm to be short with those who are close.
And finally, ask yourself:
Is your sense of Responsibility equally balanced between yourself and the other.
Warning: You can drop Vitamin R into conversations but, beware and certainly pause before attempting to tell others they’re deficient. I think taking Vitamin R is a personal matter. When we take it, somehow through osmosis, we pass it on.
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